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” She smiles.“A couple of years ago, I’m sitting with her, and she turns to me, looks me right in the eye and asks, ‘Is pig semen kosher?… They made me drink it in the camps… I quite liked it. A little bitter.’ And I didn’t know what to say… But somewhere deep down inside, I’m thinking about drinking pig-semen…” She looks a little embarrassed.She drops into an impersonation of her great-grandmother, shaky hands and Eastern European accent, “’Von time, the Nazi officer in charge of patrolling outside my vorkstation, he had zis big dog… And he brings it in to me and orders me to have sex with the dog or he would strangle me… So I get onto ze floor and let Ze dog have sex vit me. I don’t know how many girls he had sex vit but zis dog knew how to do it better zan your father… Only one time. Never again. Zen the war ended.’ And then she was quiet for an hour. I just sat there thinking about what she had just told me…” Eden looks very reflective. “When I got home, I looked up dogsex and. The first incident happened two days prior to the end of my fourth year as a substitute teacher. And most incredibly, it happened with a girl I'd been checking out (and had noticed looking at me) since she'd had her sixteenth birthday and I'd brought in cupcakes and candles for her day in class.The best part about it? She initiated it, and said it was "thanks" for me being so special to her, and making her feel so good. She offered to reciprocate the favor, and make "ME" feel good.Believe me, she knew how to do just what she promised.The day was over. The administrators had cleaned out most of their offices for the school year. There were just a couple of days left before the students would call it good for the summer. I had been a regular in the building all year, spending almost every day with the high school kids, having a good time, and getting paid for what I didn't even consider a job. I always considered it more of a fun duty, and I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity.
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